I believe with my whole heart that there is power in prayer. I believe God hears our prayers, no matter how big or how small and I believe God answers our prayers in His ways. I also believe God cares about our prayers… and our needs, our wants, our hopes, and our desires.
But, what if we pray, diligently pray, and those prayers are not answered? What if the very thing you are asking for turns out to be the very thing you were praying against?
Does that mean God doesn’t care? Does that mean your prayer doesn’t matter or count? Does that mean God was not there? Or does God even exist?
I read an article recently about the prayers of a mother and how powerful they are… and I cried… huge, powerful tears, because I have prayed without ceasing for my children, yet, one of them died and I never saw those prayers answered. Or so I thought…
My son struggled so much in this life, and I constantly prayed over those struggles. Most of the time I simply prayed, “Lord, draw him to you. Remove everything that is not of you. Free him from the lies that consume him. Let him feel you today. Do whatever it takes, but not to death.”
I literally prayed for him not to die! And yet… he died.
The night of his death, I remember sitting outside with my sister and telling her that I felt so, so confused because I knew what God had spoken to me concerning my son and His plans for him. I knew what my prayers were, how diligent they were, how sincere and honest they were and I simply did not understand this.
How? How could I pray all those things, trust God with all those things, and yet, not only are my prayers not answered, but my child dies??
Where is the power in that prayer…..
These are the facts….
God gave me a word about my son when he was younger, He told me (clearly) that He would use Tyler’s struggles to touch the lives of boys.
Tyler had every intention to make a difference for others (because he told me so, months before his death.)
Since the day I viewed my son and wrote about it, countless people have reached out and shared so many things, much of which, my son’s story has simply encouraged others to fight for their best life.
My prayers were never wasted, they just look like God wanted them to look and not how I wanted them to look.
There was a greater purpose within my prayers, to accomplish things only God can do.
“How Could Circumstance Change, Who I Forever Am In you...”
My mommy heart is crushed beyond belief, shattered in a million ways I can not explain. The pain and sorrow completely unbearable at times. The thoughts of “why” run through my mind continually. The trauma of it all, a constant reminder that will never leave.
But… Even still, I do not know better than God. Period. And truly, who am I to get in His way? A way that is unimaginable in this moment, a way that goes way beyond me or even my son, a way that is part of His beautiful plan and purpose. Who am I……
You guys, I love my son more that I have words for.. I fought for that kid through prayer! I took on battles that only God knows and I would do it over and over again. It was truly, praying without ceasing.
Here are more facts…
Just because you pray for it does not mean it will happen.. or look like you want it to.
God not only hears our prayers but I believe He answers them according to His will.
Just because it doesn’t look like what you asked for, doesn’t mean He’s not working all things together for your good.
And the biggest for me and my situation…. If you use drugs, you take the chance of dying. That is true of anyone who uses drugs. That is what happened to my child. But, God doesn’t just change His mind and say, “sorry, My plans have changed.” Nope, He just continues on accomplishing what He already set out to do.
His promises are true and He is forever faithful. He does not need me to understand for His will to be accomplished.
~ I am learning that this is what faith looks like, to trust the unseen and know that God’s ways are not my ways.
That my prayers were not just tossed aside and forgotten or uncared for. They just look different than how I saw them.
I will continue to ask for the miracle, knowing that through my son’s death and story, my prayers are still being answered, for God’s will to be done. That maybe one less momma is feeling my heartache today, or one less child is missing their father, or one less person is asking the question “why”, or one less family is going through what my family is enduring.
Prayer does work, it just isn’t guaranteed to look like we think it should. There is power in it, I am living proof, because without all your prayers, I would surely never survive this.
God is truly just that good.
You Are Lovely… don’t believe the lie