What if…

What if everything you’ve been through is actually the very thing you needed to endure to create in you the very best “you” needed for this world that you are now impacting.

Would we choose another way..

The beautiful thing is, we will never know. The irony of life is that we can’t go back and change the past, we can only go forward and change the future.

This is Doug.. He is an addict turned hope dealer and I just love him so stinking much! Out of his mouth, “I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m an addict in recovery from addiction. I feel if I forget or discount my addict mind by saying former or recovered, I set myself up for failure. Keeping it in the forefront of my mind is what keeps me humble.”

This is a man who once was an innocent child, growing up in chaos that shaped his self destruction only to be turned around and used for everything beautiful that his life now touches.

Beauty For Ashes..

He grew up in the typical scenario of divorced parents, absent Father, feeling unloved, wanting to fit in, being the tough guy, and getting lost along the way.

A little insight..

At the age of 12 he played his first game of “quarters” and smoked marijuana. At the age of 13 he was in an auto accident and was pronounced dead and later remained in a coma for several days. At the age of 15 he tried Meth, which became his drug of choice. This was his life until the age of 20, where he stopped using Meth but still drank and held onto a narcissist mentality. Clinging to the typical emotions of a young man with trauma, he went looking for fights everywhere he went to cover up the deep rooted feeling of not fitting in, not knowing his place in life, and feeling unloved.

From the age of 13 until legally an adult he was “state raised”.. in and out of trouble and in and out of juvenile detention centers. His charges were typically stealing, burglary, and assault but never any drug charges as a minor.

At the age of 26 he became a Dad to two boys, who are now 17 and 18. Becoming a Dad changed everything for him and in that process he worked through a lot and forgiveness for people and situations took place.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough…

At age 26 he hurt his back and quickly became addicted to prescription drugs, spiraling his life out of control. A life of buying, selling, and hustling began and by the time he was into his thirties he started using Meth again. He had always had custody of his youngest son but on two separate occasions his Mom stepped in and helped raise him. For the next 10 years this became his lifestyle yet again.

Chaos and confusion on the daily, convincing yourself that you’re “good” and you have everything under control but deep down you know that nothing could be further from the truth.. so you stay numb.. until that is no longer a possibility.

Living at the Travelodge in Medford, up for 9 days straight, and a chain of events that led him to punching a hole in the ceiling of a motel room and hanging himself because in one tiny moment.. he gave up.

Then love stepped in, looking nothing at all like he thought it would.

On this night he states that he was rescued by the Medford Police department, opening the door for recovery to take place and allowing him the opportunity to take a long, hard look at where he wanted his life to go. This was July 21, 2017.

A little more insight..

Dates of times and events are instrumental for Doug, he feels like the person he is really needs loud and clear signs from God and the love of God has provided just that throughout this journey.

July 22, 2017 is his clean date. He was 41 years old. This is also his Sister’s birthday.

August 23, 2017 he pleaded into ROC court, a program designed to take all the necessary steps for recovery and help you hold yourself accountable and succeed. This is also his Son’s birthday.

September 6, 2017 while in ROC court he was living out at the Work Center and was released on this day and was able to take his son to his first day of High School.

September 10, 2017 he was voted into the Oxford house, a clean and sober facility where you are able to learn a new way of living. A place that teaches you the basics of life and also holds you accountable. Doug honestly believes that if it was not for Oxford, he would not be where he is today. Oxford was a place for healing to begin and where people honestly and genuinely believed in him and encouraged him, giving him hope. He lived there for 16 months. This day is also his birthday.

November 14, 2018 he moved into his own apartment with his youngest son. This was an opportunity for new life to take place and begin the journey of taking in everything he had worked so hard to obtain. This is also his Mom’s birthday.

June 23, 2019 Doug graduated ROC court. His brother and Sister both came, he had not seen them in years.

August 23, 2020 after years of being on probation, he was finally a free man. Again, on his Son’s birthday.

Today, Doug is a man of integrity. The things he loves the most about his recovery is that he has real friends, he is a lovable person who no longer needs to wear a mask, he knows that is okay to be flawed, and he’s thankful for all the healing that has taken place.

He no longer lives a life of looking over his shoulder, he now lives a life looking forward and all of the ways that he can be a part of the community of support giving back.

After years of feeling unloved, I think one of the most beautiful statements Doug has made is when he talks about thanking his counselor for showing him how to be intimate with men, and saying that if you are laughing at that statement then you are missing the point of what he means.

He has worked hard for this life that is now his and he deserves every single part of it.

There is never a time that I sit across from the people trusting me to tell the most intimate parts of their story and not walk away changed..

When you see them, that is what they are.. world changers.

Real people, with incredible stories of their “why”, sharing it with the world so that another soul could have a little insight to what beauty for ashes looks like.

Doug.. if you know him, you know what a beautiful soul he is. You know all of the ways he makes this world a better place and all the hope he gives for the world of recovery.

See them

Know their why

Support Recovery

Save A Life

Thank you Doug for sharing your story

You Are Lovely… don’t believe the lie