Once upon a time there was the sweetest little boy, he held the most special place in the hearts of so many. As days turned into weeks and months and years and life hit him with the power that it does, a chain of events would take place that now make up his story. His name is Aaron, maybe you know him as “Pitbull”… I simply call him Aaron James, he is my nephew, and he has a powerful story.
Aaron was born December 23, 1993. He was your typical healthy, beautiful baby boy, loved by so many… and then evil creeped in and abuse took place at an early age. Precautions were taken but the formula for destruction had taken place. While Aaron feels like he had a pretty amazing childhood, there were always underlying issues of disfunction… I’m certain that is true of many families.
It didn’t take long for choices to be made that would eventually lead him down a path of addiction and mental health struggles. At age 10, he would pour drinks for his dad, often sneaking drinks off the bottle to get a buzz. The summer between 8th and 9th grade, he got wasted for the first time. He also bought and smoked weed for the first time.. this led him into choosing to “party” every weekend. Freshman year, he was smoking Marijuana regularly and half way through the school year he moved from Springfield with his Dad, to Medford with his Mom. Things quickly turned interesting, as he was introduced to Vicodin, Xanax, and Oxycontin. At one point, he blacked out for three days but even that was not enough to scare him… he just wanted more. Soon after, he was introduced to Ecstasy.
Ecstasy would become his drug of choice.. he was still smoking Marijuana and now taking Mushrooms but alcohol no longer interested him. Around the age of 16, a man introduced him to a rock that you could put on top of your weed and smoke… Crystal Meth was now a taste he enjoyed. It didn’t take long until he started to get in trouble with the law. Eventually he would do a long enough stay in juvenile detention to remain clean for a period of time.
It wouldn’t last long… at age 18, he went back to his Moms, begging and screaming and fighting to be a participant in the use of drugs. Due to the abuse that happened as a child, Aaron was aware of how evil some people were and would use this as survival mechanisms.
Much of his teenage days are cloudy.. he’s aware of how selfish and inconsiderate he was towards others, he was only looking out for himself and instant gratification in whatever he was doing. Constantly looking for the next high, he was consumed by addiction.
Things took a turn for the worst mentally, when he started injecting drugs.. everything felt heated in his mind and everything became a dope game… commiting crimes, passing off drugs, stealing, keeping secrets, and literally watching real crimes happen before his eyes. From the age of 18-22, he could not talk right or have a proper conversation with anyone. He basically felt like a walking zombie, always running on very little sleep.
Lack of support…
*(And here is where I will pause… I’ve cried so many tears over the next part of this story, knowing full well I play a role in my Nephew feeling rejected and alone and without support. I can fully own that, I make no excuses.. I simply did not know how to help, it is fully a lack of understanding of what is truly needed for the struggling addict. I would do so many things differently now.)
Feeling alone, abandoned and like no one truly cared, it was hard to understand why no one would take the time to help him, clean him up, or motivate him to get better.. it was just the typical I love you and maybe you’ll be better when you’re ready. He felt like he had lost everybody and nobody cared… it was then that he started to have thoughts of suicide.
Something had to change… and his brothers stepped in. He moved out of the Valley and that alone was life saving in the moment.
A brand new outlook on life.
Today, Aaron has over 3 years clean time, He is living on his own, working as an Arborist, and his thoughts on life are taking care of himself, being the best Uncle he can be, and reaching our youth in this battle. He was tired of the game, he was tired of all the ugliness that comes with addiction, he wanted to live a life he could enjoy and he was finally at peace with leaving drugs behind and finding the path to sobriety. He’s grateful that day came for him because he is aware that it does not for everyone.
His heart for others in the world of addiction, would be that you would know you are worth more than this, to dig deep and seek what you want life to look like and fight for that, that you don’t have to do this alone, and to work hard at not burning bridges with your loved ones… he would also encourage the loved ones of an addict to fight for them, not to turn their back on them, and help them find their way. His heart is also big for reaching our youth and really pouring into them first.
Addiction is a monster, seeking nothing but to tear down and destroy, and it can be costly and deadly… how easy it is to say, “don’t do drugs”… we’ve all heard it and we’ve all said it, it simply is not that easy. The addict walking in recovery is beneficial for the addict still caught in the grips, they are the hope and the light that recovery is possible.
But you.. the non addict, your role is important also, because community and love are instrumental in changing lives. You are hope and light also, and while there will be many days that leave you hurt, overwhelmed, scared, and feeling defeated, there is something powerful in coming alongside someone who is struggling and encouraging them in the process of overcoming.. I honestly believe they won’t be able to do that on their own. I’ve had to learn this the hard way, so my heart will always be for the change needed to come along side someone trying to overcome their addiction.
Aaron James, my heart is full for all you have overcome and beaten in your addiction. Watching you live in your recovery is beautiful and awe inspiring for others.
You Are Lovely… don’t believe the lie