The endless cries of a newborn baby boy. The hurt cries, scared cries, not getting their way cries of a toddler boy. The frustrated cries of an adolescent boy. Boys cry a lot and without concern when they are young. They are free of judgement and only understand what is hurting their heart..
What about the boy who grows up to be a man? When does he start realizing that he needs to hide his emotions and why does he believe he needs to do so?
This is not about curiosity or trying to prove a point. This is about the damaging affects that are leading our boys, men, into depression, addiction, suicidal thoughts, and for some, death.
Our world has become chaotic, with all the do this, be that, not that way, only this way, etc... How confusing and frustrating for most. Then pride and fear step in, causing a downward spiral that some don’t know how to escape. It’s simply not ok. Something needs to change.
I’m not a man, I’m just a mom who lost her oldest son to a drug overdose due to a lifetime of things that tore at his heart and mind, causing him to make choices that eventually took his life. And my world was forever shattered. I’m just a mom who is on a mission to make sure every single person knows there is always a better way and certainly a better day. I’m just a mom who cares deeply for all but has a tender spot for all the guys out there.
“I will use Tyler’s struggles to touch the lives of boys.”
-God
True to His word, through Tyler’s death, He is doing just that. It looks nothing like I thought it would, and yes, I have many moments that I simply do not understand but there is no denying that God’s promises are true. Since Tyler’s death, the Lord has moved swiftly, with an outpouring of men (and women) who have come forward in one way or another to declare how Tyler’s story has touched their life, changed their life or helped them in a positive way. And my heart will take it... take it and trust it and pray that lives are changed because of it.
Somewhere along the way, our boys are taught... or learn, or choose, or believe, something that is just not truth. That they have to be tough and strong and secure and without emotion, at way too many things and it is destroying them. For some, it is killing them and when it comes to a point that a man would choose to die over fear of reaching out, something needs to change because what we are doing is not working. I’ve heard it said, the world demands more from us than it ever has and I believe there is so much truth in that and it plays a role in all of this.
You guys, it’s not enough to say,
Don’t use drugs.
Stop being depressed.
You’re not really suicidal.
This really doesn’t matter.
Saying these things does not and will not make the person stop feeling that way. Trust me, they wish it was that easy. We need to find solutions that will help, work or overcome the issue at hand. There is not just one answer, because it looks different for everyone but there needs to be an answer.
Every life matters. You matter. You are worthy, you are stronger than you believe, you are loved and you are needed here.
Stop buying into a lie that is telling you differently. Take a stand. Be the change. Turn stigmas around. Fight for your best life.
And by the way... yes, boys do cry and so do men and there is not one single shame in that.
You Are Lovely.... don’t believe the lie